|I'd been reborn through Jesus as
I looked to Calvary
And saw that all the blood He shed,
He shed to ransom me.
It was a simple step to take, but
though I thought I should
Be perfect from that moment on..I
found I never could!
I'd go to prayer as if it were hard
labour for my soul
And by MY strength I had to strive
each day to reach the goal.
I wasn't even honest with my Christian
friends, you see
I'd be all sweet and light, but
never showed the REAL me.
THEY didn't look like sinners with
the problems that I had,
I reasoned if they knew my heart
they'd think me very bad
And so, for their acceptance, I
would hide my thorny heart,
I WANTED to be pure, but didn't
know the way to start.
With God I was no different. I would
go and praise my King
When I felt less like praising than
I did for anything!
And I would speak of love when love
was furthest from my mind,
When some part of Christ's body
hurt, because I'd been unkind.
So I sat down to ponder why since
I was born anew
My actions weren't as Jesu's were..and
I could NOT be true,
And God told me a secret that my
mind could not conceive,
MY LIFE WAS CENTRED ALL ROUND 'SELF'
and filled to brim with greed.
I had to be well thought of,
it was I who wanted praise,
My service should be good so MAN
would see my well spent days,
The Centre of the Universe was where
I was, just I,
I was the god upon my throne..AND
THAT GOD HAD TO DIE.
So I went back to Jesus and I told
Him as I knelt
That there was little praise in
me..that wasn't how I felt.
I didn't feel like loving Him or
praying much that day
I asked His help to change my heart
and wash its sin away.
I started to be honest and acknowledge
what was true,
I WAS a selfish creature. Something
God already knew!
I asked Him to release me and to
change my selfish will
And there at last the Spirit found
a space that He could fill!
I didn't have to struggle just to
change and be like Him,
I couldn't do it in MY strength..for
I was born to sin,
I only had to yield my Will and
ask Him to control
The Centre of My Universe..and HE
would make me whole.
That was the wondrous secret that
I learned some while ago,
I'm still a selfish creature and
my progress still is slow
But now I've JOY within this heart
where FEAR was wont to plod,
For I laid down my selfish crown..and
I LET GOD BE GOD.
Annette Keeble Martens.
© 2009 Annette Keeble